Xkcd dating pool


03-Nov-2016 09:21

The queries he receives range from merely odd to downright diabolical: His responses are masterpieces of clarity and wit, gleefully and accurately explaining everything from the relativistic effects of a baseball pitched at near the speed of light to the many horrible ways you could die while building a periodic table out of all the actual elements.The book features new and never-before-answered questions, along with the most popular answers from the xkcd website. is an informative feast for xkcd fans and anyone who loves to ponder the hypothetical.Finally, last week, I was able to install OCLC’s v2.2 update which included support for x64 systems. Using Firefox and Word 2007 I couldn’t actually get the instructions in the cartoon to work. So I’m going to ask, what’s the most obnoxious workaround you’ve used to solve a problem, computer-related or not? The theory being taught in this hypothetical classroom is only partially correct, and does not apply to all modes of flight - especially for planes that are capable of upside-down flight.An updated version of the Map of Online Communities - a visualization of the size and relationships between various web communities. Gone with the Wind Frankly, my dear, I don't give a BITCH ASS SHIT FUCK DAMN Firefox and Witchcraft - The Connection? Although, strictly speaking, The Riemann-zeta function couldn't have given your herpes. Randall: When I say long walks on the beach, I mean LONG walks on the beach. FLICKR They're saying on Kos that articl tag Cloud Cory Doctorow is a little upset about copyright law. The top raptor has a wounded leg and is limited to a top speed of 10 m s. The picture has a legend "(Not to scale)".]] The raptors will run toward you. ' Sandwich A man is sitting on a couch, talking to another man. The two rocks have moved; an after-image of their previous placement is present Narrator: ...another instant ticks by. ' Tell me,' he purred seductively, as he and Obama formed a more perfect union. ' Decline A man is pointing at a line graph at a specific point where it slopes down. He should be better soon -- now that the Apple Store is getting rid of DRM, Cory Doctorow will get rid of his Steve Jobs voodoo doll. At the bottom of the hill, sled has stopped Girl: Which reminds me -- our anniversary is coming up. LISTEN - I' M STARTING TO THINK WE SHOULD ONLY TAKE THESE BREAKS AT HALFTIME. They said a team of chess players coached by someone with no understanding of basketball would never be competitive in the NBA! Neutrality Schmeutrality Trivia: It's possible to create events which Wikipedia cannot cover neutrally Man in Hat: In a week, I will be donating $1,000,000 to a recipient determined by the word count of the Wikipedia article about this event. Girls takes the kindle The top of the kindle says "Amazon Kindle" Girl scratches at the top Top of "kindle": Hitchhiker's Guid... Force Two EMTs are rushing Darth Vader away from a front door on a stretcher.

The queries he receives range from merely odd to downright diabolical: His responses are masterpieces of clarity and wit, gleefully and accurately explaining everything from the relativistic effects of a baseball pitched at near the speed of light to the many horrible ways you could die while building a periodic table out of all the actual elements.

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It is built upon The Axiom of Choice is an often-debated axiom dealing with infinite sets and recursion. The Author is rallying against educators that fail to embrace the student’s imagination and creativity, instead choosing to take the easy route and stick to a lesson plan.

Barrel - Part 1 Many red spiders standing on and hanging from cuboids. Hammer Slide Figure holding balloon; Balloon gets caught in ceiling fan; Figure holds on and is pulled up So I'm a bad person. Hat Guy: A laughable claim, Mister Bond, perpetuated by overzealous teachers of science. Using the floor plan on the next page, plot a route through the building, assuming raptors take 5 minutes to open the first door and halve the time for each subsequent door. Scientists are also sexy, let's not forget that. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Man in front of the vastness of his infinite desert Narrator: Oh and... Still walking on a rocky desert. I never feel hungry or thirsty. Still walking on a rocky desert. Sand and rocks Zoomed out on a rocky desert. stretch to infinity. Sitting on a rocky desert. There's plenty of time for thinking out here. Drawing math in a rocky desert. I've rederived modern math in the sand and then some. in a rocky desert.]] Physics, too I worked out the kinks in quantum mechanics and relativity. Cuttlefish We visit a bio lab: Man and woman visit a bio lab where they look into a tank that the scientists point at. Scientist- "These are cuttlefish." Image of a cuttlefish They're frighteningly smart, have manipulating arms and tentacles, have ink jets, can dart backwards and see the polarization of light through their w-shaped pupils. The next three panels are blank Two couples appear in this next panel Guy: Are the raptors contained? " ' There's also a spike on the Fourier transform at the one-month mark where --' ' You want to stop talking right now.' Party Hat guy: And so I hired Rick Astley to show up at her party. Boy: Guess this isn't the Calvin & Hobbes-model toboggan. Foul of the third base line: Anal sex (fill in your won "Foul Ball" pun here.) Left outfield: 2outfielders1glove. ' Music DRM Interior, a man sits at his computer typing, woman enters Man [typing]: ..that's why music DRM is bad for listeners and artists! Woman: In case you didn't notice, we won the music DRM war. Woman: So close the comment thread, get out the debit card, buy us some music, and let's rock the fuck out. Westley's a Dick Buttercup: Oh, my sweet Westley! Science Montage Movie Science Montage One scientist passes a test tube to another, who's sitting at a machine. Lights and screens are shining, and there's a hamster ball and a Newton's cradle on a shelf behind them. There's a glowing sample next to a rat in a cage.

Petit Trees (sketch) Girl sleeping on her side, facing away from view I don't remember her name at all, but she fell asleep on the floor in front of me. membership in wicca total firefox downloads positive slope graph Internet Explorer icon Keep the Faith Outline of a cross Thisadpaidforbythecounciltopromote Microsoftand Christianity. Baring My Heart A venn diagram with three sets Description of set 1: People who can always make me smile Description of set 2: People who constantly show me new things about the world Description of set 3: People I want to spend the rest of my life with Intersection point: YOU. { The graph is of the magnitude of the function with the real value between 0 and 2 and the imaginary between about 35 and 40. Computational Linguists Hat Guy is standing next to a large badge which says FUCK Computational Lingustics Hat Guy: And the dumbest thing about emo kids is that... I've met people through these services who CLAIM to like long walks on the beach. You spin me right round, baby, right round, in a manner depriving me of an inertial reference frame. Blogofractal From the makers of the Blogosphere, Blogocube, and Blogodrome comes the Blogofractal A large rectangle subdivided into rectangles in a fractal pattern, most with a phrase or word inside Mostly left to right from top-left corner Trip Master Monkey says 118th Post!! At what angle should you run to maximize the time you stay alive? Raptors can open doors, but they are slowed by them. I think you mean "website." Man 1: Why don't you write about it in your blag? The wonderful thing about science is that it doesn't ask for your faith, it just asks for your eyes. Professor: Ah, then yes, we do have a bit of a situation. Man #2 observes a mote of dust vanish Narrator: So if you see a mote of dust vanish from your vision in a little flash or something Man is rearranging rocks Narrator: I'm sorry. Narrator: ...sometime in the last few billions and billions of millennia. At 8 drinks, you switch the torrent from Free BSD to Microsoft Bob. 11th Grade Bar graph title: Usefulness to career success 900 hours of classes small bar 400 hours of homework small bar One weekend messing with Perl huge bar And the ten minutes striking up a conversation with that strange kid in homeroom sometimes matters more than every other part of high school combined. The next panel is blank Guy with hat fighting with a raptor using lightsabers Guy: It's all right. The Y Axis shows that as Y increases, Love increases.]] Man: "Our relationship entered its decline at this point." WomanOutside of panel: "That's when you started graphing everything." Man: "Coincidence! Windows 7 A girl is standing behind a guy sitting at a desk using his laptop Girl: What are you doing? Girl: Man, that ride failed to be a metaphor for our conversation. Beyond 3rd base, along the 3rd base line: Standing anywhere near Peaches. If it's even, the money goes to pro-choice activists. ' Hey, everyone, you can totally trust that I didn't do a word count on MY edit! Even if I spend months broke and drunk in a strange city, I'll still be able to use wikipedia and wikitravel to learn about anything I need. I'm happy with my Kindle 2 so far, but if they cut off the free Wikipedia browsing, I plan to show up drunk on Jeff Bezos's lawn and refuse to leave. On the desk is a laptop displaying the Wikipedia page for autoerotic asphyxiation.]] Force-choking the chicken.

Poisson A stick figure says to another black-hat-wearing figure. Man: I'm a poisson distribution! They're standing at the lip of the canyon, which isn't clear at all. Of course, you don't wanna limit yourself to the strict forms of the meter. Attention, shopper Hat guy is holding a golf club and speaking into a P. system Hat guy: Attention, Hat guy: To the owner of a Dodge Viper SRT-10 with license plate "MYTOY", your lights are on and your windshield was just smashed with a golf club. I'm not sure if this is actually true Snakes on a Plane! We see the same things every day, we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day a slight variation on the last, every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of societal norms. It throws Guy to the edge of the panel, pinned to the wall.]] I really shouldn't abuse that power so heavily. First man and his next line are also green.]] First man: Wait, what does that gesture even mean? Filler Art Text above plain stick figure Text: Sorry guys no comic today. alt-text: And she's gonna feel like a jerk when she realizes it was actually Under Pressure. Tycho's writing continues to astound day after day. Ron Paul tosses his cane aside Ron Paul steadily transforms into Tron Paul Narrator: RON PAUL evolves into TRON PAUL Light cycle begins to form Tron Paul bends over the light cycle Light cycle finishes its formation Light cycle speeds off, trailing an American flag It's time to draw the line. Zoomed out, pattern of rocks, shadow eclipsing it. With the right set of rules and enough space, Zoomed out showing pattern. I was able to build a computer. I knew it." XKCD - Salutes Bio Majors Bottle is pouring into a flask, and a man takes the flask and drinks from it If we join you against the chemists, will you train your fleshy minions to leave us alive? unplugged cell phone on table Stick figure: First I tried her cell phone, but it's off. Woman: I finished the floor Hat Guy: Good; he'll be home any- Oh crap! There's a clock on the wall.]] Time has passed. Machine: They examine the sample. Male Scientist: Okay, we've determined there's neither barium nor radium in this sample. ' G-Spot A study published in the journal of sexual medicine suggests that the g-spot may not actually exist. The end of the command line is a |grep sam. The server's uptime grows because you can't bring yourself to reboot and wipe out their last earthly presence The processes listed are screen, zsh, irssi, and grep sam. the ghost in zshell.

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It is built upon The Axiom of Choice is an often-debated axiom dealing with infinite sets and recursion. The Author is rallying against educators that fail to embrace the student’s imagination and creativity, instead choosing to take the easy route and stick to a lesson plan. Barrel - Part 1 A boy sits in a barrel which is floating in an ocean. Boy: I wonder where I'll float next? Red spiders Many red spiders standing on and hanging from cuboids. Hammer Slide Figure holding balloon; Balloon gets caught in ceiling fan; Figure holds on and is pulled up So I'm a bad person. Hat Guy: A laughable claim, Mister Bond, perpetuated by overzealous teachers of science. Using the floor plan on the next page, plot a route through the building, assuming raptors take 5 minutes to open the first door and halve the time for each subsequent door. Scientists are also sexy, let's not forget that. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Man in front of the vastness of his infinite desert Narrator: Oh and... Still walking on a rocky desert. I never feel hungry or thirsty. Still walking on a rocky desert. Sand and rocks Zoomed out on a rocky desert. stretch to infinity. Sitting on a rocky desert. There's plenty of time for thinking out here. Drawing math in a rocky desert. I've rederived modern math in the sand and then some. in a rocky desert.]] Physics, too I worked out the kinks in quantum mechanics and relativity. Cuttlefish We visit a bio lab: Man and woman visit a bio lab where they look into a tank that the scientists point at. Scientist- "These are cuttlefish." Image of a cuttlefish They're frighteningly smart, have manipulating arms and tentacles, have ink jets, can dart backwards and see the polarization of light through their w-shaped pupils. The next three panels are blank Two couples appear in this next panel Guy: Are the raptors contained? " ' There's also a spike on the Fourier transform at the one-month mark where --' ' You want to stop talking right now.' Party Hat guy: And so I hired Rick Astley to show up at her party. Boy: Guess this isn't the Calvin & Hobbes-model toboggan. Foul of the third base line: Anal sex (fill in your won "Foul Ball" pun here.) Left outfield: 2outfielders1glove. ' Music DRM Interior, a man sits at his computer typing, woman enters Man [typing]: ..that's why music DRM is bad for listeners and artists! Woman: In case you didn't notice, we won the music DRM war. Woman: So close the comment thread, get out the debit card, buy us some music, and let's rock the fuck out. Westley's a Dick Buttercup: Oh, my sweet Westley! Science Montage Movie Science Montage One scientist passes a test tube to another, who's sitting at a machine. Lights and screens are shining, and there's a hamster ball and a Newton's cradle on a shelf behind them. There's a glowing sample next to a rat in a cage. Petit Trees (sketch) Girl sleeping on her side, facing away from view I don't remember her name at all, but she fell asleep on the floor in front of me. membership in wicca total firefox downloads positive slope graph Internet Explorer icon Keep the Faith Outline of a cross Thisadpaidforbythecounciltopromote Microsoftand Christianity. Baring My Heart A venn diagram with three sets Description of set 1: People who can always make me smile Description of set 2: People who constantly show me new things about the world Description of set 3: People I want to spend the rest of my life with Intersection point: YOU. { The graph is of the magnitude of the function with the real value between 0 and 2 and the imaginary between about 35 and 40. Computational Linguists Hat Guy is standing next to a large badge which says FUCK Computational Lingustics Hat Guy: And the dumbest thing about emo kids is that... I've met people through these services who CLAIM to like long walks on the beach. You spin me right round, baby, right round, in a manner depriving me of an inertial reference frame. Blogofractal From the makers of the Blogosphere, Blogocube, and Blogodrome comes the Blogofractal A large rectangle subdivided into rectangles in a fractal pattern, most with a phrase or word inside Mostly left to right from top-left corner Trip Master Monkey says 118th Post!! At what angle should you run to maximize the time you stay alive? Raptors can open doors, but they are slowed by them. I think you mean "website." Man 1: Why don't you write about it in your blag? The wonderful thing about science is that it doesn't ask for your faith, it just asks for your eyes. Professor: Ah, then yes, we do have a bit of a situation. Man #2 observes a mote of dust vanish Narrator: So if you see a mote of dust vanish from your vision in a little flash or something Man is rearranging rocks Narrator: I'm sorry. Narrator: ...sometime in the last few billions and billions of millennia. At 8 drinks, you switch the torrent from Free BSD to Microsoft Bob. 11th Grade Bar graph title: Usefulness to career success 900 hours of classes small bar 400 hours of homework small bar One weekend messing with Perl huge bar And the ten minutes striking up a conversation with that strange kid in homeroom sometimes matters more than every other part of high school combined. The next panel is blank Guy with hat fighting with a raptor using lightsabers Guy: It's all right. The Y Axis shows that as Y increases, Love increases.]] Man: "Our relationship entered its decline at this point." WomanOutside of panel: "That's when you started graphing everything." Man: "Coincidence! Windows 7 A girl is standing behind a guy sitting at a desk using his laptop Girl: What are you doing? Girl: Man, that ride failed to be a metaphor for our conversation. Beyond 3rd base, along the 3rd base line: Standing anywhere near Peaches. If it's even, the money goes to pro-choice activists. ' Hey, everyone, you can totally trust that I didn't do a word count on MY edit! Even if I spend months broke and drunk in a strange city, I'll still be able to use wikipedia and wikitravel to learn about anything I need. I'm happy with my Kindle 2 so far, but if they cut off the free Wikipedia browsing, I plan to show up drunk on Jeff Bezos's lawn and refuse to leave. On the desk is a laptop displaying the Wikipedia page for autoerotic asphyxiation.]] Force-choking the chicken. Poisson A stick figure says to another black-hat-wearing figure. Man: I'm a poisson distribution! They're standing at the lip of the canyon, which isn't clear at all. Of course, you don't wanna limit yourself to the strict forms of the meter. Attention, shopper Hat guy is holding a golf club and speaking into a P. system Hat guy: Attention, Hat guy: To the owner of a Dodge Viper SRT-10 with license plate "MYTOY", your lights are on and your windshield was just smashed with a golf club. I'm not sure if this is actually true Snakes on a Plane! We see the same things every day, we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day a slight variation on the last, every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of societal norms. It throws Guy to the edge of the panel, pinned to the wall.]] I really shouldn't abuse that power so heavily. First man and his next line are also green.]] First man: Wait, what does that gesture even mean? Filler Art Text above plain stick figure Text: Sorry guys no comic today. alt-text: And she's gonna feel like a jerk when she realizes it was actually Under Pressure. Tycho's writing continues to astound day after day. Ron Paul tosses his cane aside Ron Paul steadily transforms into Tron Paul Narrator: RON PAUL evolves into TRON PAUL Light cycle begins to form Tron Paul bends over the light cycle Light cycle finishes its formation Light cycle speeds off, trailing an American flag It's time to draw the line. Zoomed out, pattern of rocks, shadow eclipsing it. With the right set of rules and enough space, Zoomed out showing pattern. I was able to build a computer. I knew it." XKCD - Salutes Bio Majors Bottle is pouring into a flask, and a man takes the flask and drinks from it If we join you against the chemists, will you train your fleshy minions to leave us alive? unplugged cell phone on table Stick figure: First I tried her cell phone, but it's off. Woman: I finished the floor Hat Guy: Good; he'll be home any- Oh crap! There's a clock on the wall.]] Time has passed. Machine: They examine the sample. Male Scientist: Okay, we've determined there's neither barium nor radium in this sample. ' G-Spot A study published in the journal of sexual medicine suggests that the g-spot may not actually exist. The end of the command line is a |grep sam. The server's uptime grows because you can't bring yourself to reboot and wipe out their last earthly presence The processes listed are screen, zsh, irssi, and grep sam. the ghost in zshell.

]]

Copyright A collection of fictional meat based cereals Pork Loops Mice Krispies Hammios Frosted Bacon Flakes Scrapple Jacks Honey Bunches of Goats A tribute to Buttercup Festival Su Doku A square divided into 2x2 squares, the top-right one has an 1 in it, the bottom-right one has a 0, the two left ones are empty Label: Binary Su Doku This one is from the Red Belt collection, of 'medium' difficulty. There's a red convertible outside my building with the license plate ' DADS MNY'. Wright Brothers A man and a woman are talking to each other Man: I've heard that when the Wright brothers argued, they periodically switched sides in the debate to try to encourage a more balanced conclusion. Woman: It's a neat idea, but I think treating personal issues like a debate will only engender hostility and hurt feelings. 2 A sky full of jumbo jets is shown in movie poster format. Top of the poster: From the creators of last summer's hit thriller Snakes On a Plane comes: Superimposed on the sky and planes: Snakes... We act like if we just get through today, tomorrow our dreams will come back to us. I don't know how to jolt myself into seeing what each moment could become. A Way So Familiar Person 1: I saw a cute girl outside the bank today. I've gotta go to the doctor to get my thighs rotated. And she's gonna feel like a jerk when she realizes it was actually Under Pressure. I can just see him, reading my uncultured swill masquerading as his florid prose. He's sitting at his desk smiling that condescending half-smile, the corner of his mouth belying the self-assurance of a writer who never misplaces a word. The Ron Paul Revolution blimp begins to sink, smoking more heavily The blimp sinks further Pilot: Sir, maybe if we dropped all this gold... Inside the control room, tilted slightly Pilot: We've lost, sir. Secretary: Part 5 Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary. Each new row of stones is the next iteration of the computation. Unless the CS students finish the robot revolution before you finish the cephalopod one. The next panel is blank Girl sitting in front of a console Girl: Whoops, one of the Arduino control boards sublimated. Stick figure sitting on steps, laptop in lap and gesturing Stick figure: Then I tried IRC, but she's not online. We go live to the researchers' press conference: Reporters stand below a researcher at a podium. Reporter: Is it true you've been unable to find evidence that the g-spot exists? And every day it gets harder to fight the urge to su to the user and freak people out. Teacher (italic): Then England will drift out to sea.

Similarly, in his autobiography, George Arnold Escher (1843-1939, father of famous artist M. Escher) claimed that when he was looking for a wife ca.

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Copyright Colored drawing of a hilly grassy landscape, stick figure leaning against a tree. Man: Sometimes I just can't get outraged over copyright law After reading Slashdot and Boing Boing, sometimes I have to go outside. Your village called they want their idiot back Go away I hate you all DIE. Maybe if this T-shirt is witty enough, someone will finally love me. I accidentally took the Fourier transform of my cat ... That cat has some serious periodic components Meat Cereals A collection of fictional meat based cereals Pork Loops Mice Krispies Hammios Frosted Bacon Flakes Scrapple Jacks Honey Bunches of Goats A tribute to Buttercup Festival Su Doku A square divided into 2x2 squares, the top-right one has an 1 in it, the bottom-right one has a 0, the two left ones are empty Label: Binary Su Doku This one is from the Red Belt collection, of 'medium' difficulty. There's a red convertible outside my building with the license plate ' DADS MNY'. Wright Brothers A man and a woman are talking to each other Man: I've heard that when the Wright brothers argued, they periodically switched sides in the debate to try to encourage a more balanced conclusion. Woman: It's a neat idea, but I think treating personal issues like a debate will only engender hostility and hurt feelings. 2 A sky full of jumbo jets is shown in movie poster format. Top of the poster: From the creators of last summer's hit thriller Snakes On a Plane comes: Superimposed on the sky and planes: Snakes... We act like if we just get through today, tomorrow our dreams will come back to us. I don't know how to jolt myself into seeing what each moment could become. A Way So Familiar Person 1: I saw a cute girl outside the bank today. I've gotta go to the doctor to get my thighs rotated. And she's gonna feel like a jerk when she realizes it was actually Under Pressure. I can just see him, reading my uncultured swill masquerading as his florid prose. He's sitting at his desk smiling that condescending half-smile, the corner of his mouth belying the self-assurance of a writer who never misplaces a word. The Ron Paul Revolution blimp begins to sink, smoking more heavily The blimp sinks further Pilot: Sir, maybe if we dropped all this gold... Inside the control room, tilted slightly Pilot: We've lost, sir. Secretary: Part 5 Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary. Each new row of stones is the next iteration of the computation. Unless the CS students finish the robot revolution before you finish the cephalopod one. The next panel is blank Girl sitting in front of a console Girl: Whoops, one of the Arduino control boards sublimated. Stick figure sitting on steps, laptop in lap and gesturing Stick figure: Then I tried IRC, but she's not online. We go live to the researchers' press conference: Reporters stand below a researcher at a podium. Reporter: Is it true you've been unable to find evidence that the g-spot exists? And every day it gets harder to fight the urge to su to the user and freak people out. Teacher (italic): Then England will drift out to sea.Similarly, in his autobiography, George Arnold Escher (1843-1939, father of famous artist M. Escher) claimed that when he was looking for a wife ca.

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